Freight Train

Anxiety has always been my confidant. Every task that I want to fulfill or at the very least adhere to - big or small somehow causes my brain to become mush. Mush is the ever constant flow of thoughts that seamlessly filter my brain into a non stop freight train that never reaches its destination. Imagine being on such a train every day. Every minute. Every hour and second, not ever knowing when the train will stop.

My thoughts are always constantly roaming. I try to break free from the tight clutches of the critic within my brain but it has played such a critical role in my 22 years of living that I hopelessly feel that I would never overcome such a predicament that I’m in. Here’s the catch though - I often thought that Anxiety was just the owner of me and my body. My mind and my spirit. Anxiety has many hosts. Some hosts let it lead them to their demise while others push through the gates and conquer it by force. I prefer the latter.

My Anxiety does not control me, I control it. My Anxiety does not define me nor shall I let it hinder me in reaching for my dreams. My Anxiety is not my own there are many underlying factors to why it chose to latch on to me, but word of advice - Mind over Matter. My Anxiety always have something to say for what matters in my life, but my mind always have the last say if I allow it to.

Note to Self: Anxiety is a bitch and you can either deal with it and make it your best friend or allow it to take over.

Bella Bloom